I was asked my opinion on this video so here goes. Disclaimer - Anything I speak about encompasses consideration of yin and Yang. No situation is one way, EVER! We are at times, deceived by the belief that the way something appears is the only version of the truth. Misconceptions come in many forms but what we perceive will always be our version of the situation. This is why those of us who don’t know everything, continue to learn and grow. It is also why those of us who share our growth, tend to help others grow whether they have the courage to be vulnerable or not. That part.

I see this video and I think to myself how beautiful the 6 month expression is, of their love for each other. I recall the beginning of getting to know someone new, usually being sweet, filled with attentiveness, thoughtfulness, and consideration. We know all too well how that vibe can lose luster. So my prayer for them is that when the trials come, whatever they are, this same 6 month time stamp will remind them of the love they share.

For me, it’s not ‘puppy love’, ‘young love’, or judged love. For me, I don’t know enough about this couple to call it anything. For me, it is what these two feel about each other, that is their good part and that they were gracious enough to allow others to peek into ID their choice. It is how they have chosen to express their love and everyone is different.

For me, it is their love that is their business but someone is watching their love and being inspired by it. Someone needs to see that love is possible.

I mention this often that because people are communicating more by hiding behind computer screens, cell phones, and not actually having conversations; our view of the world is based on presentations of truth.

The unfortunate part is that not everyone is happy for them. Not everyone sees their light and wishes them well. Not everyone is speaking love over their relationship because naysayers come in may forms. We often look at things in one dimension but we are not one dimensional people and neither is love.

God’s promises are the most truth they will ever know in this life so I pray that as beautiful as that ring is, God’s promises will be held much closer. I know there is much scrutiny these days on social media with people who have no clue about who they are, what they feel, and what is really important in life. As the world turns though, I hope for us all the beauty of fresh revelation, the courage to lean into that truth, and grace for those who don’t share our life experiences or journey through love.

I notice that it’s great to see this experience I hope an elder is sharing the lessons with them on the other side of them sharing this video and that they are wise enough to heed the advice given. They don’t have to care what people think but when you share anything, they will need to hold each other’s respect, love, and vulnerability close in order to keep it, because envy and jealousy is a thing that comes for everyone at some point in life.

I encourage those watching and waiting for love not to compare yourself. Be careful getting all wrapped up in someone else’s fairytale. We all have our own lives to live. I wish them well. I wish them more and more of whatever God’s plan is for them because there is a plan for us all.

I wish them joy and peace as much inside of each other’s arms as outside. I wish them the courage to talk about the things that set their soul on fire and the willingness to go after it. I wish them the discipline to seek Gods face so that if purpose does not find them together, they can withstand the journey.

I wish them the purpose of togetherness and the resilience to allow their love to be more valuable to them than any challenge they face.
I wish for them the thing we all desire in love - known and unknown - true, authentic, unmasked, balanced, resilient love.

#Checkoutmylastblog #checkoutspeakresilience #speakresilience #toseimaj #toseimajtv #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caipromo

I have been discussing tough topics for over 10 years with the Speak Resilience blog and more recently podcast and tv show platform while navigating through my own pain, trauma, and life lessons. As I learn and apply, I share and help someone else. If more people did that, we could see love in action.

Lately, I’ve been posting ‘transparency moments’ which involves me with no make-up / filter, fresh from a workout, being vulnerable about topics I have personally had to navigate through or those that have inspired me.

People who know me know I love fashion and a good outfit I create makes me feel beautiful - which I’ve been doing ever since I had the power to dress myself, with the superlatives from high school, college, modeling, etc. ‘best dressed’ this and that - it’s a thing.

Even still, these transparency moments have taught me what beauty ACTUALLY looks like, feels like, and the impact on the soul. Anyway, I find that if people cannot control you, if they can’t navigate your life, your actions, and your words - every thing you do is in question.

Based on who’s standard do you live your life? Your own or the one the world tells you is acceptable? I know because out of my own pain, I attempted to control others as well and I lived underneath the words people spoke over me instead of the words I speak myself - based on the words God gives me. That is one reason the platform was born.

We all pretend there is no elephant in the room, then become upset when someone speaks up. I don’t know about you but I am thankful that God healed me from some things and is still healing me from some things.

The conversations I have been having about Twitch since his death have prompted moments when it matters to simply SPEAK UP! I thought about two people that were close to me, commit suicide and how it affected me at that time. Moments navigating through my own trauma has forced me to speak up.

If more people speak up, less people would be suicidal, navigating mental health with unhealthy practices, and less people would be ignorant about it. Less people would be blaming folks for mental health and treating it more like Cancer of the mind. Helping them develop a manual that works for them instead of rejecting and deserting them.

If more people were having the conversations connected to healed understanding, instead of allowing your personal mental health to be impacted by someone else’s trauma, you would recognize it and not make their challenges about you.

Here’s my point: everyone responds to pain differently so if someone is acting out, we often just disassociate instead of asking the question, why? Nobody cares why? though right, that is the problem. Then the people end up dead, on drugs, alcoholics, suicidal, and a number of other challenges associated with unhealthy practices - THEN we want to speak about them but the signs are clear, if we care enough to pay attention.

I would challenge that the person behaving waywardly doesn’t care because very few have challenged them for their motivation. Very few paid attention during the early signs so after a while that ‘nobody cares anyway’ behavior shows up. The person observing the wayward behavior simply enters the ‘room of smh’, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and offers their judgment instead of their help, prayers, honest feedback, or options for healthy help.

More people would know how to effectively love and support people who navigate mental health.

Lots of people want to help but don’t know how. Lots of people feel helpless in allowing someone to navigate the journey themselves and many people misunderstand what support looks like.

More people would be loved. More people would be getting the help they need. More people would learn to make themselves their safe space so they can be safe for those around them.

Sincerely, Toseima J - Known as Speak Resilience.

More. More. More. Good

#nomakeup #transparencymoment #chooseyourself1st#lessonsinlove #selflove #toseimaj #toseimajtv #speakresilience #caipromo #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caiswag #mylaneislit #stayinginmylane #peaceisthenewswag #healedisthenewsexy #assumptionskillthemind #transparencyopensthemind #communicationiskey #instagram #instadaily #i #twitch #suicide #mentalhealth #choppedleg #silentpain

Avatar One

Avatar Freestyle vibes….

I have poetry in my soul sometimes … this is what came out when I looked at this photo - Enjoy.

Not as cold in December
As it once was in my eyes
Where I could only see
Layers of everyone else’s demise
For me
Those tears I cried are crystallized for earrings bedazzling my best kept secrets
Un quilted in pieces of my yet unfound strength
Laid bare for what my heart could not at one time behold
Trickling through and grabbing out the remnants of my dormant soul
Cradling the wayward memories of broken-hearted words spoken over me
Misguided minds entrusted To guide the lack of ambition Awaiting the back seat
I didn’t know I was taking
In a bed I didn’t know I was making
All except grace found me broken, bellowing over, grieved low life sustaining chemical reactions in organisms
Battling euphemism for everything I thought was the truth resends thoughts
Suffering underneath the pain of everyone around me
Too busy suffering for them to know if they were unknowingly suffering for me
Waiting for someone who knew what love was
To find the best parts of me To love me past the worst.
The only hope one can offer such reality is the power
The will
And the fruit of change.
If change is enough for God, It is enough for whomever The mantel is chosen for
To walk alongside the healed layers of my footsteps
Reminders of the one whose footsteps are truly in the sand as I was carried
In moments when I carried
Angled in the masterpiece of prophecies foretold
Transcending the footstools of my enemies
In revelation of
The peace that transcends all understanding which cannot be bought
It must be held tightly in the inner depths of souls having travailed and won.
Celebrating the progress made only for those who take action geared towards the very peace the trevail acknowledges
How high up must I reach past GOD to find true forgiveness in the judgment of man?
Thankfully, any reach past GOD is unnecessary
I instead find prosperity where I find divine creation
The word of the Lord
Cracking open my soul in worship
Breathing hope into my thoughts with adoration and clarity
Finally my dreams find wholeness and my journey finds awareness to restore my own reality
For giant leaps forward
Leaving behind all who are content to leave me and themselves un growing, un inspiring, and un yielding to the season of best. It’s not that hard, some of us just know nothing but the cycles woven into the fabric of our least desirable attributes. To know thyself we must love thyself. To know others, we must also know thyself.
Then true love, the real kind that stands the tests of time can find you, patiently waiting for every layer you are brave enough to transparently offer it. I see you Toseima, all of you, and I’m here for it and for you.

#peace #progress #prosperity #lessonsinlove #selflove #toseimaj #toseimajtv #speakresilience #caipromo #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caiswag #mylaneislit #stayinginmylane #peaceisthenewswag #healedisthenewsexy #assumptionskillthemind #transparencyopensthemind #communicationiskey #instagram #instadaily #i