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As the end of the year approaches: I wanted to share a little ‘New Year Motivation’ by sharing what my thoughts are about 2020, how it has affected me, and some motivation for going into 2021 because we are all better for what we rise through, together. This is a 3 part series. Here is part 1 - How has the pandemic affected me begins with this haiku for Who takes the blame for the hellery of 2020
Twenty Twenty One
I can’t wake up fast enough
Twenty Twenty done
Who takes the blame for the hellery of 2020?
The 45th President
The Family Members
The Property Owners & Landlords
The Abusers & The Shooters
The Racists & Those Who Pretend in Plain Sight
The Non-Mask Wearers
The People Who Never Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Those Who Refused to Help Those in Need
Ok, so already, that list makes me feel some kinda way however, I have watched memes, posts, and read articles of a fair share of blame being welded to and from every direction, from every type of person, within every type of background.
Yes, there are many people and entities I could blame if I were truly the ‘blaming’ type.
Blame, however, only removes the opportunity for me to hold the only part of accountability that is mine, which is basically whatever is within my control. This year, I have experienced my own share of loss, debt, and unbelievable shock in an attempt to wrap my brain around multiple traumatic experiences happening at once like deaths, illnesses, projectile racism, experiencing separation from family and friends, and of course heartache in how to financially provide for those who count on me. Nearly losing my mind a few times, I have also had to make difficult decisions about how to survive and there were many times that my thoughts of what ‘should’ be and how things ‘should’ go were thoughts of least resolve. The fact is, people want to see you pull yourself up by the bootstraps and I have always been able to do that without a heavy, awkward, emotional post requesting go fund me help and needing to constantly ask someone to bail me out of poverty. I have always wanted to simply do the things I know I can do well, be thankful that it adds enough value to the world that someone will hire me to do it, and celebrate having barely enough to feed my children. With that being said, I have chosen to journey with myself and through my own heart for what makes sense to believe, to own, and to ultimately blame. The truth is, there is no one to blame. Our collective choices as a nation have landed us in the ‘sweet spot’ of hell and only the citizens who care enough about the current status and future of the USA will take initiative in those areas. As much as I would like to take care of every person with every need, in every part of the world, taking care of home is not a bad concept for Americans to collectively adopt. Speaking of getting my own house in order, I have decided to own my share of poor choices and that is pretty easy to do when the only person in the mirror to stare back at me, is me. I took the opportunity to self inventory which I believe is a necessary reality of moving forward. I sat with myself and pondered, realizing that if I had only invested a little more than I spent. If only I had thought of healthy boundaries when people I love have needed my help. If only I had decided that this relationship or that friendship wasn’t necessary to form, life would have turned out much differently. In the moment when my needs were most pressing, I would have heard the sound of my own bank card, entering the ATM to meet my own emergencies. Every single decision that was made, however minuscule, was a connective aspect of the journey which leads to this moment. The lessons of how to properly manage money, how to find comfort with boundaries in my need to care for those around me, and the allowance of connecting with people who truly can see the reciprocated value in contributing to the world. Nothing is hard to accept if we acknowledge that the world has been, is, and will always go around with varied opinions, perspectives, levels of prosperity, and angles of persuasion as forms of influence, action, and the endurance of life challenges and rewards. Everyone has something to walk through but I hope you walk into 2021 recognizing the facts you needed to learn this year and the things that make sense to believe.
Be sure to check out other episodes because there’s always something to make you think and smile. Don’t forget to follow/ like / tweet / subscribe / and support. Leave a message. Check out my website at speakresilience.com. As always, it’s been real – Thank you in advance to all my contributors who have helped to make this podcast possible.
A special thanks to Jimbo for the beautiful intro and outro to the podcast. Check him out on sound cloud and all major social media platforms.