Would you rather listen to art instead of read? Just click the Episode Image to check out my podcast - there is always some poetic banter to keep you talking  -  https://anchor.fm/speakresilience
Otherwise - Welcome, scroll down and enjoy!







There are some things that are simply too hard to comprehend.  The mind lives in shock for more time than we credit and then just like that - we are here with the Coronavirus.  The carrier virus for COVID 19 which has already killed thousands of people by the time you read this blog post.  There are soo many people searching for a safe place to land their thoughts and unlike a similar tragedy I lived through in 9/11, I believe that just when we start to get comfortable and secure, our faith is tested.  I grew up a Christian and not by choice necessarily in the beginning. I don't wear it as some kind of 'Superwoman' logo or deem myself to be raised above the masses in my lifestyle or countenance. In life, it is quite clear that we all want the same things for our families to be safe, secure, and fulfilled. We all want to accomplish goals which leave a worthwhile legacy and experience prosperity in many areas of life.  My Grandfather (rest his soul) was a pastor so I was often summoned to service over the years - in the way many people have within various cultures.  I was on social media some time ago and was reminded of a song that lit a fire in my soul and had to share it.  While sharing, all kinds of additional, reflective thoughts insisted on tagging along, so here is the song and then you can read where my soul landed. I hope it helps you find a safe place to land your soul as well.  Thanks in advance for spending time with me.  

When I joyfully latch on to the words the "Lord our God is Mighty", etc. it doesn't mean that I am being unrealistic about the challenges our world faces. As a matter of fact, those who join me in moments of celebration are simply making a statement of adoration, praise, and doing what I like to call, "pushing joy to the top" How else are we to find true joy amidst the pain? We are all human, we feel it - seeing the pain of our neighbors in other countries and the almost helplessness associated with helping those in our own country. But in the same way, people in Paris will stand on their balconies to sing Rhianna or have a full out workout session from the rooftops; they are finding a home in which to make 'joy' a choice. When I engage in this type of music, praise & worship/gospel - my soul stirs up and everything I remember about my most joyful moments in life are made present; sometimes all at once. A presence overwhelms me unlike anything else on this earth and then in an instant, my pain leaves and a 'calm' I crave is later realized as the residue of God's arms wrapped around me. The same is true for people who work their faith in day to day situations.  You have to fight for that moment of safety and that is because we all have a battle going on. That battle is not just with the Coronavirus, it's a spiritual battle in our faith, and it's also a mental battle in our minds. I have seen many people throw around the idea of God and all the spiritual jargon but nothing tells you what you believe when you are FORCED to believe in something in order to not lose your mind! Health and wellness is about soo much more than what we eat, it's about nurturing the mind, body and soul; a lifestyle. It is my opinion, (along with this whole blog post obviously) that all battles being won requires a diligent and intentional focus on positivity and truth rather than fantasy, what we wish, or what someone told us is true. Some important moments of focus come when we have learned to stand on our own two feet of faith, as a result of things we had to live through that no one will ever quite be able to see in us. It's how we don't wear what we've been through, in our countenance and disposition. I realize that adversity, which seeks to distract you from the main focus, will have you doing everything but maintaining the 'calm'. My Grandma (rest her soul) used to say, "An idle mind is the devil's playground'. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many people are hurting right now. Families are unable to have proper burials for people who have passed in this pandemic, the whole world is watching with held breath and clasped hands. While we must be informed, we must also be diligent to find the joy/the true positive, fight for it even, and sustain our best lives spiritually and mentally, while we navigate this journey. I'm not a pastor, I was partially raised by one. I was ordained a minister years ago but I don't tote the bible around to beat people over the head with fire and brimstone. I have fallen flat on my face, invested in the wrong companies, dated the wrong people, allowed the wrong people access to my friendship, got mixed up in the wrong mindset, I dance when I feel it and sing when I feel it but, thankfully no longer interested in the limelight of religiosity or being held captive by the watching eyes of negative criticism and judgment. I focus on a relationship with God in its purest form without even an ounce of consideration to own titles in churches or even a badge of service as I did in my earlier years. It is the absolute most joy and love I have ever felt from God and an overwhelming sign that when He is not absolutely 1st, I was getting it wrong and was surrounded by people who even well-intended, did the same.  Anyway, I digress. . . Basically, I just do my absolute best to live a life of service in my interaction with every person, every time; seen and unseen and allow that to be among my legacy. In redirecting my focus, what I will tell you is that no matter what you believe, I pray for you that very feeling I described earlier, the one where God's arms are undeniably wrapped around you to the point where there is no question. That feeling that offers a release of the worry and pain among the only one who can take the pain away...even for a moment; and that you will use that moment to create a worry-free lifestyle for yourself. Some people say that it can only be found with Jesus, well I am no longer soo naive that I believe Jesus can only make himself known in one way, with one type of person, living one type of way, with one type of church, loving one type of person, in one person's ministry. The only decision-maker is the one who is able to move space and time, the one who does not have to ask for permission before removing the breath of life or granting it. In recent news briefings, I was glad to hear a more hopeful disposition about the direction of our nation in handling COVID, and I pray that it will continue. The Coronavirus for those with positive, negative, and undetermined testing status are still breathing - if you are reading; you are breathing. Choosing joy is only hard when there is nothing else to cling on to when we close our minds to the possibility that something else, more profound and unimaginable can exist. The right mindset will help you traverse and mold your resilience; it also helps to have the right people around you to remind you as you journey. We are never alone, I promise - we are well, it is well, one step, one solution, one praise, at a time. Stay hopeful. 

​

Blessings, T 
​#SpeakResilience #SpeakRes #ToseimaJ #Coronavirus #distraction #healthandwellness

The post title and one of my favorite quotes by Anne Lamott clearly depicts the nature of my collective thoughts to share with you today. "NO". Although in my career throughout the years, I have been charged with the immensely rewarding, yet heavy weight of telling people that small, simple, yet powerful 2 letter word. Usually, people would prefer to hear what they want or just ANYTHING but, "I'm sorry, the answer is No." It's always been challenging to be that person in a number of organizations over the years and I've been called everything from 'rude' to a completely different type of mammal because I was considered 'great' at enforcing rules created to govern facilities. Actually, people would like to have the order of systems and the discipline of seamless practices but not all of them are determined to see it through til the end. I have experienced the honor of that type of beautiful leadership only once in 25 years of working within this capacity and for the sensitivity of current events, I will refrain the name drop. What I will say is that my experiences with people avoiding responsibilities, declining calls, rushing to take on new ventures, pretending to be someone other than themselves, and waging their vengeance on people far removed from final decisions, all to avoid that word. Respectfully, it is not an easy word to hear but imagine how difficult it is to say, especially if everything in your soul wants to say yes. I have learned to have a tremendous amount of grace for people who enforce rules because I understand 1st hand the backlash associated with this line of work. The enforcer is NEVER the favorite. Depending on how close ones family is to the organization's 'No', it can be catastrophic. . .from clients who bully the staff to students who bully students of the staff. It's just extraordinary what people are willing to go through and the time people are willing to spend just to make your life miserable over one, simple, heavy, and in many cases unavoidable two letter word. Sure, there might be circumstances surrounding the answer but ultimately, people just want their cake while eating it too, on a bed of zero calories. What I have learned in a nutshell with all things considered: "Some will. Some won't. So what. Next." Either you actually see value in a company or you never did. You either see value in people or you never did. It takes a strong person to take hits for decisions out of their hands but enforceable by their hands. It's not something you can fake successfully; it just is what it is. I have learned to have 'No' celebrations because whatever Yes's of the world exist for me are the ONLY entities I need to give energy towards. Allow the No's of life to inspire you. . .compel you. . .expand your vision. . . push you harder for the 'right yes'. Don't be afraid to tell people No because at the end of the day, you are left with the responsibility of your answer. . .whether it's yes or no. It is selfish to be angered by a No you can't control. It is insensitive to believe that the No's in life are planned. . .because not all of them are; sometimes, a considerable amount of realization and tears contribute to that No. It is always someone else's problem if they are unable to accept the overwhelming responsibility of your response. For the record, No is the best route to yes because it makes the Yes's far more meaningful. My Grandma used to say that "a No was God's plan to help you appreciate the Yes". May you find joy in whatever the future holds. May you steer forward in the tragedy unveiling your own Yes, the one that is made for you, that you worked hard to receive, and most deserving in a long line of No's. May you challenge the right 'No's' with educated clarity and find guidance in reaching the answer you desire. For the benefit of all that is human, fine, and decent, may you find the courage to walk away from whatever is not meant for you with grace, humility, and love. #SpeakResilience #LiveYoLife #BeYoSelf #love #a

The beauty of life is extraordinary. Almost instantly, society encourages a mask for every angle of life we choose to live, beyond the various lenses. It's 'frowned upon' to live your life out loud by some, although we all have a bit of 'messy' trials, from time to time. The field of acting only magnifies that reality, but doesn't art imitate life extremely well? Studying facial recognition and becoming a pro at recreating it is something I've always admired in @denzelwashington, he tells a stories in ways that are hypnotizing.


The true face of authenticity calls us to be more diligent, passionate, inspired, transparent, & courageous in how we choose resilient living. When discomfort enters our lives, such as death, heartbreak, the control/fear that haunts goals, or even that helplessness that fails to sync with our belief in our opinion of life's purpose; our experiences teach us which mask to wear and it's our job to refuse to cover the discomfort. The pain and overwhelming joys of life creates levels of emotion and transformative experiences that shapes us in strange ways; leaving some of us temporarily unrecognizable. It is true that 'to whom much is given, much is required'. How are we to follow the path laid before us if we believe not to have been equipped for the experience? I've heard this question addressed in many circles and my opinion feels clear and concise so I will share it in hopes of adding a productive perspective to the conversational mix.


It is my assertion that we have all been equipped for every challenge we face in this life, we need only to trust the still, quiet voice inside, utilize the resources clearly set before us, and walk courageously in the direction of ALL that is good, with reckless abandon and the faith to move mountains, which cannot fail. The problem is many of us are not taught exactly how to complete that process but then, there is no manual on how to live life, we all just stumble through it like a repeat of bad 1st steps that quickly turns into a tumble and roll down a flight of stairs. It is absolutely normal to be afraid of hurting or failing or even succeeding so the thing which takes us past fear is the missing ingredient; it is the thing which takes us from extraordinary pain to being willing to somehow, try again. Elders in every community I grew up in would say pray, meditate, take a vacation, be still, wait, and I agree with them all. I also think that often times we hide behind what we don't know, or can't find ways to trust, using it as an excuse to willingly embrace failure, hovering underneath a smile, a substance, and a desire to numb it, until the pain goes away. It is normal to glue ourselves to re-runs of shows as precious, potential, winning time passes us by. We have to be willing to look at the pain, as we go through the pain, because it is not a surface item we can simply sit on the shelf in our mental closet and forget about it. Pain is a life constant that truly never goes away, the same is true of joy, we are simply programmed by finding ways to address it that are either healthy and productive or damaging and destructive to the mind and soul. Pain will never go away, it is in heavy rotation until death, so you may as well be a pro at rising through it. This way, it won't 'bubble over' in sabotage and calamity through other mediums. Hiding from pain only makes it worse and running from the truth only creates more hurt. Smiling through the pain has carried many people through hard times; so they thought. Then, seemingly out of no where, the pain would show up in the least likely moments; avoidance aborted.


If we learn to walk through the truth of our pain, we can respond metaphorically like the sun rises, with purpose, intentionality, transparency, and consistency, thereby adding joy and gratitude as the driving force in order to, with time, be TRULY healed. I believe that its healthy to sit in the truth of the pain (cry, mourn, breathe through it) while latching onto every positive prayer, word of inspiration, extension of love, moment of meditation, and positive book affirmation we can find to edify, restore, re-calibrate, and re-build the love that heals ALL PAIN. Real women cry without feeling like less than a woman. Real men cry without feeling less than a man. Actually, people look like 'less of themselves' when they are going around mistreating people, ultimately from lack of a good cry.


I challenge us all to locate all that is good, clear out the negativity in our surroundings, and run boldly in the direction of our destiny. You are greater than you know, smarter than you believe, and more equipped than you realize. There is freedom in your transparency, boldness in your honesty, and resolve in your ability to be self-aware. My name is SpeakResilience and as always, IT'S BEEN REAL.


ANNOUNCEMENT: If you know a professional and talented photographer who may need some extra work in the ATL, I have a client who would greatly value your service. Upcoming is a non-profit project with the potential for ongoing opportunities as well. Tag someone in the comments, hit the DM, share the post. Each one. Help one.


PHOTO CRED- This Post photo was taken by the extraordinary force of nature that is Mr.ShotsByDotts himself, @majhatesall - Thank you Sir! Much Gratitude!


#BeYoSelf #LiveYoLifeAndBeGreat #SpeakResilience #love #sing #act #dance #write #dontmaskthetruthliveit

This post is random but isn't life filled with random acts of ridiculousness? Anyway, these images posted on social media inspired a random 'gut check' for me. We should all take moments to check our feelings on aspects of life thereby, keeping us grounded in our current truth and that establishes our pulse on the world around us. So these are just. . . inspiring thoughts and images.

Let yourself be reminded of who you are and don't waste one moment on someone who doesn't value you. . .I was checking my TL on various SM platforms and had this simple thought, 'I have to accept the fact that I am traditional in nature...modern in some aspects of my thought process, but yeah, pretty much, 'wise souled'. The way the dating scene works these days appears to be a bit too materialistic, microwaveable, and heartless for me, leaving little to be desired, and ultimately it forces me to embrace contentment in a new way.

The best relationship I can have is one with myself and I prefer to me a whole woman with a whole man (these days, its not impossible, but rare), I've lived that fragmented life. . .that 'save people' life. . .that unriciprocated life. . .that "him having sex with other women in the house while I lived with him as a sign to break up" kinda life..(yeah peeps, I've seen it all!). In this season though, I am finding that my prayers are being answered LEFT & RIGHT!!! "Keep away those who mean me no good and draw near to me His perfect will for me". . .Truly, it has a slight 'really' attached to it at 1st but REJECTION NEVER FELT SO GOOD once the dust settles because if it ain't right, I'd much rather pass on friends, a man, opportunities, or anything else not geared toward God's best for me (and I have). I respect people who only rely on themselves but I believe God because the world is bigger than any man, as well as its challenges, and you can fight better when your faith is in something bigger than you, your challenges, etc. If you truly ask yourself the right question, and I havd recently asked myself this one, "My goal is ALWAYS to add value to those I meet, to build them up SO, If this person has no goal to add value to my life, why do I need to entertain the thought?" Surely if we ask ourselves the right questions, the answered revealed helps to establish healthier interactions overall.
​
Work is filled with ways to grow and reasons to see myself differently, better than I imagined. I'm watching my hard work materialize into something larger than me, that's really cool. I have seen many businesses thrive and been instrumental but there is nothing like being able to ride something through the long haul. . .my loyalty won't allow anything less. I realize my intensity to win has changed, my tolerance for mediocrity is closer to zero than I ever expected. . .feeling 'sharper' and more aware. My friendships are thriving and what a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by people in every facet of my life who see me. . .just as I am, and love me still. Because in fact, I am worthy of love and over the next 30 days, I will be reciting affirmations designed to help develop my mindset. . .this is my way of 'choosing me'. I am learning how to embody the truest form of myself which in itself is empowering. I am finding my voice and loving the sound of it. . .my soul rejoices as I take chances I otherwise wouldn't. I guess I have always just went after what I wanted but finding myself feeling honored and almost humbled when people see enough value in me to graciously pursue me. I support people without question and love them beyond themselves so, a two way street is a good street to be on.
​
My faith is soo solid because God has been the number one most consistent thing in my life. . . people come and go, they change up on you, blame you for their faults, insecurities, and warped thinking, celebrate you one second, call you a queen, then throw shade the next minute, tell you they wish they could do more for you, then establish boundaries to do less for you, people run from you, push you away, resent your swag, envy your struggle, then tell you to get over it, magnify their co-dependence, and shade you at every opportunity to 'one up'. . . .But God is 💯 percent faithful, always available, forgiving, powerful, and everything I need to bypass the BS of this world - I just smile, know the truth, and keep right on stepping in my authority. I'm soo grateful for the gifts God has given me, I can see the bold faced lie on the best manipulators faces and still I love; that alone is a gift! The ability to love is a gift. I am honored even by the challenges God allows me to face because my 'better' is not just on the surface, its through and through. It may take some time and I may kick and scream along the way, but God is doing a new thing and I am SOOO glad He is. Regal living is authentic living. We are more resilient in our ability to encourage, edify, and uplift each other. Share some of your Gut Checks in the comments below. I'm Speak Resilience and til next time, as always Peeps, its been REAL. #Queenliving #patience #authenticjoy #mightystrength #love #equipped #Truestory #SpeakResilience

Born in Flint, Michigan, Kipper Jones is more than a great singer and a great writer. His work helps to create an authentic musical perspective within the R&B legacy of modern times. Anyone who is familiar with music that speaks to the soul has envisioned work already created through the eyes of this amazing human. Kipper has the 'it' factor. Over the past couple of years, 'yes years'. . . I have watched Kipper's work and those who know me well understand how excited I can get about working on a new article or post. This particular journey was especially challenging for me to write because the more I researched Mr. Kipper Jones, the more honored I became to write something which not only communicates the heart of his character but the obvious depth of his talent, God-given skill, and heart for the community; I needed everything to be just right.

From the start of the show to the end (about 4 hours!), Mr. Kipper is jovial, flashy on the outside, humble on the inside; just a bit warmer in presentation than one would expect of someone who spent years surrounded by the world of entertainment. Before you jump too far ahead, I believe that the wrong experience in the entertainment world have sent many truly talented artists home packing. People give up or are 'set aside' either because they couldn't hack the emotional pressure, or the extensive highs and 'Grand Canyon' lows of fame, can leave little to be desired. It's hard to survive in this industry without a strong foundation. Not only is Mr. Kipper NOT PACKING, there is no chance that he will be moving anywhere but up in entertainment so I decided to step into his world, make myself at home, and dive a little deeper into the life of the legend in the making, 'Kipper Jones'.

Although Kipper did not grow up with the preverbial silver spoon in his mouth, excellent rearing and a great foundation certainly set an ambitious path in motion. He lived majority of his life in Los Angeles and now resides in Atlanta, GA with regular performances at the legendary Cafe 290, and many other 'swanky grown folk' locations. Cafe 290 is where I 1st had the experience that truly 'changed my understanding' of live R&B music. $15 cover and a strict RSVP option WELL worth it, dining (seafood is my fav), drinks, and the service is also a plus, all with a smile. Expect dancing in the aisles in this intimate space, with an attire set for the grown and sexy because the music will set you free! It was soulful and gritty, funky and melodic, sexy and smooth. . . all the things which embody the authentic rhythm and blues style we've come to love. Kipper sang songs that reminded me of 'living room jam sessions' with tons of loud sometimes on key, and sometimes off key, joyous memories with family and friends. Of the 3 set performance experienced at the Kipper Jones R&B Circus, Cafe 290 show, each set is filled with a variety of sounds inspired by every artist from Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye to Usher and Gap Band, believe me, you will not regret one moment!!! Growing up as the grandaughter of a Pastor, I have an inclined ear to good southern church riffs and smooth runs which embody a deeper connection to the music that very few singers possess - it was almost spiritual.

A spiritual journey in music is exactly what the Kipper Jones R&B Circus experience is reminiscent of, for me. But then, I have a very different love affair with music than some people and have even been known to cut a rug in the grocery store if the right song comes on the public announcement system. Even still, Kipper is an amazing singer, performer, and 'boy oh boy', does he know how to choose a musician! Only the best band for the best set in Georgia including a rotating list of extraordinary bass, keyboard, bongo, drums, and even a bit of African influence in the musicianship can be found.

The thing which ultimately impressed me most is that throughout Kipper's show, he would mention hints of his faith. At happenstance, on that particular night he invited everyone in the club to a church event that was happening that weekend. During one of his mingles through the crowd, I made an introduction and was honored to have been able to learn about the importance of his faith, he stated that his faith actually "keeps him inspired, committed, and determined to continue his musical journey". A few of the photos above are from that church event and not only was Mr. Kipper present in the choir, singing for God, he was present throughout the event, celebrating with his family, and being as jovial and happy as ever. The truth is, when you know who you are as a singer, and as a person, you can sing anywhere, anything, for anyone. It is not the words that people hear, although they may sound great - in any artist, it is the soul that truly shines through.

Kipper Jones is great because he inspires through his music and utilizes his gifts to add joy and hope within a shaky societal climate. If you happen to catch one of his shows, you may actually go away feeling 'blessed' to have been in the room with such beautiful music, performed passionately. For those of you who need to know all the bells and whistles of "previous work experience' to help you take a listen, I've included those details below ('Putting in Work'),which can all be found on his website at https://kipperjones.com/. Other handles include: Twitter rnbcircus - unclekipper - and here is a list of some of his AMAZING band members:
Jadan Sorenson - Guitar

\nBilly Barlow - Keys
\n
\nQuinton Robinson - Drums
\n
\nDemonterious DETOXXX Lawrence - Bass
\n
\nDarryl "Doc" Harris - Percussion


\nThe reason I decided this article must be written is not because of all the amazing people Kipper Jones has worked with or even necessarily how talented he is, although that helps; it's because the world needs more artist who are actually passionate about the work of creating art from scratch, being transparent in the performance, and challenging the world to see a better future for us all. Mr. Kipper Jones, thank you for the privilege of writing my impression of your work, your R&B Circus Show, and faith perspective using my voice, my pen, and my experiences. May success find you at every turn and new life, new experiences ,and new hope is born in every piece of work you set your hands to create. Many blessings to you and your beautiful family, faith family, and musical family.

I'm Speak Resilience - AKA Toseima J-Coz

Mr. Kipper Jones - "Putting in Work"

For those of you who require name dropping, facts over rhetoric, and the cleftnote version of what makes this man a solid celebrity with equal amounts of humility, here are the bulletpoints:

• He was trained by Berry Gordy, Stevie Wonder, Quincy Jones, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds & Luther Vandross.
• He has worked with Grammy Award winner, Snarky Puppy, Anita Baker, Rhonda Thomas, Teddy Pendergrass, Brian McKnight, Teena Marie, Eric Clapton, Lauryn Hill, Sly Stone, Big Band leader Joe Gransden, and Trumpeter Joey Sommerville.
• Performed with an R&B outfit TEASE
• According to Wikipedia Kipper Jones is the songwriter of following jams:

Baby (Brandy)
Brokenhearted (Brandy)
The Comfort Zone (Vanessa Williams)
I Wanna Be Down (Brandy)
The Right Stuff (Vanessa Williams)

New Music:
“Closer To The Source,” which lends the Leroy Hutson classic a new coat of paint with the help of drummer Lil’ Jon Roberts and GRAMMY Award winners Snarky Puppy.

New Video:
https://youtu.be/9uUB0MdCf60

​Remember this one? It's not foreign for black men to be men, perception is everything. As much as our views are molded by the acceptance of media fed views and systematic injustices which warrant a demeaned representation of Brown and Black people. I choose to see the positive, influence those individuals I can access, positively and continue to pray for the future of inter-cultural and multi-cultural unification. Intelligent people understand differences, accepting those who are different soo strongly, that we not only celebrate the things which unite us and also that which makes us different. The unspoken rule , it today's society, which assumptively suggests that individuals must hate one to love the other is preposterous. A clear understanding of humanity, culture, and truth suggests just the opposite. Injustice requires accountability. Equality requires sacrifice. Change requires acceptance. Love is the only thing that will unite - it is the glue that holds it all together. Do you love yourself? How can you begin to love your culture or even those outside of it? How can you begin to love yourself if you have been systematically taught to hate yourself or see yourself from a mediocre perspective? It begins with a fresh start, a conscious decision to clean out the cupboards of your soul, digging out and carefully handling the truth of your existence and releasing all thinking that does not, will not and cannot prosper your mindset. For those who were raised to believe or accepted the media-fed perceptions, you may denounce those false perceptions, and take the initiative and open your mind to meeting the very people your life hasn't afforded you to know for yourself. You can seek out opportunities to grow and develop relationships that foster the kind of life you want to live; representing the kind of person you want to be. I have always been asked how I end up in such diverse environments in my life, part of it is that I sought them out. The biggest part is that I have always prayed to see the world and live my life with people who represent how heaven will look. I find that it is filled with every color, every culture, every faith, within every sexual orientation. Ultimately God makes the decisions but our most important request of God, to 'love' finds many of us still refusing to choose love when pride, jealousy, envy, and bitterness get in the way. I love the beauty of Black Men United. I also love the idea of White People United. The problem is allowing everyone to begin with a fair chance at unification and a fair opportunity to succeed. It is possible that All Men Unite. . . I just hope that I don't have to wait to get to heaven to see it with my own eyes. Be well and inspired. #SpeakRes 

​Boy oh boy!  A friend on FB shared this post and the word flow began.  You have read the post and something completely different was found, here lies the beauty in unique opinions and freedom of speech.  For me, I was catapulted into a memories of a discussion that took place with a very dear friend.  I'm so grateful that this one didn't pass me by so I share things I learn, rather than pretending that it's common sense for everyone.  Some people will love you, some will hate you, some will know you, some will think they know you but have no idea, some will know you well, but refuse to see you the way God sees you.  Some will find ways to use their influence to mistreat you because they don't appreciate you, naturally because they still haven't learned how to appreciate themselves.  It's a fact that some will envy you, be jealous of you, be mean to you, talk behind your back, and even in front of your face in some cases; in a way that insinuates an assumption that you have no idea of the vengeful act.  Even worse, sometimes people will say things, knowing you understand their intent; but do it anyway, and smile at you when the foolishness is done.  Some people will feel all those things for you and for your entire friendship, you may think everything's great until one moment changes everything.  For those of us that are fortunate, you may have a tiny circle of friends who just get 'life' and therefore value yours, with consistent actions that show and prove.  The behavior patterns associated with people are too common to run an on-going debate about it's validity or lack thereof.  We all encounter each other so, you can either make that a pleasant and loving experience for those around you or insist on allowing your insecurities, inferiorities, attacks, and personal problems to affect the potential for a beautiful interaction.  

I used to speak up about everything, because honestly, I felt some obligation to fight for the rights of people and see the good in everyone.  I used to feel that because I have a 'good heart' and people 'know my heart' then they would be comfortable with being told the truth.  I would battle, argue and even make excuses for the unjust things done to me, while continuing to fight for those who had absolutely no regard for me.  The empowering thing about understanding the source of a dysfunctional mindset is that the root of that thinking can be replaced with a solution that works; instead of the cover ups like drugs, alcohol, food, and other drugs that people use to 'pretend' everything is 'ok' in life.  For me, I have been alright with things not being ok and have absolutely no problem with being vulnerable about it because it constantly freed me from being held captive by it's weight.  At every turn, I found myself fighting for everyone, but when the war was at my door, there was only the echo of crickets to simulate the emptiness of my imagined facade of a full regime.  Unfortunately, because 'hurt people hurt people', that process would leave me exhausted and weathered as I was insistent upon allowing the importance of 'righting wrongs', to be my crusade.  Needless to say, it was a pretty short-lived crusade when I came to realize that the best thing you can do to fight for someone is to offer those who are responsible in making choices, the ability to choose to be helped or decide to help themselves.  In offering to help and pray for any person's ability to receive what you are being assigned to offer is going to help the hurt individual more than you coming in and 'swatting flies'.  We have all experienced some pain and have found ourselves with a choice to sit, dwell in the pain, kick, and scream about the pain.  However, some people decide to muster the strength to allow love to be shown so that we can actually find ourselves stronger and more empowered, on the other side of that pain.  For anyone in need of help, you can either show them how to do it for themselves or step back and allow them to learn how to fight for their own lives, depending on how you live, an extending hand and a 'no thank you' nudge can appear quite differently, which is why honest discernment is an invaluable tool.  Even within the 1st person viewpoint, we can either allow someone to teach us or find ourselves isolated in the journey.  For those who are surrounded by people and feeling alone, it is only when you embrace purpose that you can begin to feel joy.  Surely for me, remaining quiet was the best thing I could have done because when anyone would like my help, believe me, they will find a way to ask.  May the ask invite you into a celebration with a reciprocal interaction.  

Speaking of 'celebrating', the best thing to do for people who don't celebrate you is to lovingly save your voice for people who do.  When you compete against everyone, you always find yourself chasing unhealthy comparison.  It turns out that even if you feel 'excelled' in life, there is always someone better, faster, stronger, etc. but there is NEVER another you!  It matters to compete, you just have to know where to plant your flag in this life; this is especially true for artists.  You have to know that purpose is more important than popularity, fame, recognition, money, power, and even the senseless journey of 'who is best', 'more decorated', 'more skillful', 'higher ranked'.  The beauty in life is that purpose has a strange way of overriding all those things.  It will give you titles you never sought out, allowing you access you didn't request, and exposing you to opportunities many will wait a lifetime to experience.  When you compete against yourself, there is always room to improve because you were made to excel and that initiative produces perseverance to weather the path.  Among true friends, there is no 'in-between' on dedication and the love is so apparent, there isn't even an opportunity to question it; not to mention its loyalty and commitment.  Let's just say, sincerity and humility are hard to miss and greatly welcomed in a world filled with pride, control and greed.  

My closest friends have access to me because they extend the same; not to gossip, bash, or be petty - but to celebrate, inspire, and impart hope.   Some people love you right up until their perception of you, rises from beneath their muddy shoes.  As long as you remain in a position of their perceived mediocrity of you, everything is great!  The fastest way to lose acquaintances is to start accomplishing goals.  Let's not forget those who conveniently judge you based on their own very dysfunctional assumptions.  ResCrew, I have seen it all and it used to bother me to the point of tears because I desired so deeply, for people to value me in the same way I value others.  Honestly, we've all experienced heartache and pain; everyone handles it differently.  Your job is to be the best 'you' - you can be, and edify others as they attempt to do the same.  Your most wise response is to ask yourself every area where you look to people to fulfill any need, however large or small, then attempt to place those needs in the capable hands of the one who created you.  Leave the humanity to the humans.  Honor those who celebrate you by celebrating them in return - it's easy to do when your only competition is 'you'.  When I was 1st awarded for my poetry in 83', began oratorical speaking in 93', and professional public speaking in 96', the biggest lesson I have learned as a person with a story is that no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.  If you want someone to love you for who you are, 1st have to actually be yourself.  If you are afraid to be yourself, just remember that everyone else is already taken.  If you continue to invest your time in messy, draining situations, it will consume you, and pull you into mediocrity.  Let go of the negativity and embrace every positive aspect that awaits your journey through this life.  Don't be afraid to take the steps that really count.  Don't allow the voices of those who can't see you as God sees you to pierce joy from your soul.  In my heart, everyone starts off beautiful until well, their soul shows me something different, then I will respond with what your soul offers, since it's obvious that you haven't learned to live from your soul yet.  Here's to being exactly who your creator intends you to be, a complete, whole, inspired, hopeful, challenged, resilient, accomplished human.  Here's to saying the things you must and quieting the voice you must - it is just a part of life. Happy Random Post on a Tuesday! Cheers & Love Resilience Crew (ResCrew) from Speak Res (Speak Resilience). You are loved.