I used to speak up about everything, because honestly, I felt some obligation to fight for the rights of people and see the good in everyone. I used to feel that because I have a 'good heart' and people 'know my heart' then they would be comfortable with being told the truth. I would battle, argue and even make excuses for the unjust things done to me, while continuing to fight for those who had absolutely no regard for me. The empowering thing about understanding the source of a dysfunctional mindset is that the root of that thinking can be replaced with a solution that works; instead of the cover ups like drugs, alcohol, food, and other drugs that people use to 'pretend' everything is 'ok' in life. For me, I have been alright with things not being ok and have absolutely no problem with being vulnerable about it because it constantly freed me from being held captive by it's weight. At every turn, I found myself fighting for everyone, but when the war was at my door, there was only the echo of crickets to simulate the emptiness of my imagined facade of a full regime. Unfortunately, because 'hurt people hurt people', that process would leave me exhausted and weathered as I was insistent upon allowing the importance of 'righting wrongs', to be my crusade. Needless to say, it was a pretty short-lived crusade when I came to realize that the best thing you can do to fight for someone is to offer those who are responsible in making choices, the ability to choose to be helped or decide to help themselves. In offering to help and pray for any person's ability to receive what you are being assigned to offer is going to help the hurt individual more than you coming in and 'swatting flies'. We have all experienced some pain and have found ourselves with a choice to sit, dwell in the pain, kick, and scream about the pain. However, some people decide to muster the strength to allow love to be shown so that we can actually find ourselves stronger and more empowered, on the other side of that pain. For anyone in need of help, you can either show them how to do it for themselves or step back and allow them to learn how to fight for their own lives, depending on how you live, an extending hand and a 'no thank you' nudge can appear quite differently, which is why honest discernment is an invaluable tool. Even within the 1st person viewpoint, we can either allow someone to teach us or find ourselves isolated in the journey. For those who are surrounded by people and feeling alone, it is only when you embrace purpose that you can begin to feel joy. Surely for me, remaining quiet was the best thing I could have done because when anyone would like my help, believe me, they will find a way to ask. May the ask invite you into a celebration with a reciprocal interaction.
Speaking of 'celebrating', the best thing to do for people who don't celebrate you is to lovingly save your voice for people who do. When you compete against everyone, you always find yourself chasing unhealthy comparison. It turns out that even if you feel 'excelled' in life, there is always someone better, faster, stronger, etc. but there is NEVER another you! It matters to compete, you just have to know where to plant your flag in this life; this is especially true for artists. You have to know that purpose is more important than popularity, fame, recognition, money, power, and even the senseless journey of 'who is best', 'more decorated', 'more skillful', 'higher ranked'. The beauty in life is that purpose has a strange way of overriding all those things. It will give you titles you never sought out, allowing you access you didn't request, and exposing you to opportunities many will wait a lifetime to experience. When you compete against yourself, there is always room to improve because you were made to excel and that initiative produces perseverance to weather the path. Among true friends, there is no 'in-between' on dedication and the love is so apparent, there isn't even an opportunity to question it; not to mention its loyalty and commitment. Let's just say, sincerity and humility are hard to miss and greatly welcomed in a world filled with pride, control and greed.
My closest friends have access to me because they extend the same; not to gossip, bash, or be petty - but to celebrate, inspire, and impart hope. Some people love you right up until their perception of you, rises from beneath their muddy shoes. As long as you remain in a position of their perceived mediocrity of you, everything is great! The fastest way to lose acquaintances is to start accomplishing goals. Let's not forget those who conveniently judge you based on their own very dysfunctional assumptions. ResCrew, I have seen it all and it used to bother me to the point of tears because I desired so deeply, for people to value me in the same way I value others. Honestly, we've all experienced heartache and pain; everyone handles it differently. Your job is to be the best 'you' - you can be, and edify others as they attempt to do the same. Your most wise response is to ask yourself every area where you look to people to fulfill any need, however large or small, then attempt to place those needs in the capable hands of the one who created you. Leave the humanity to the humans. Honor those who celebrate you by celebrating them in return - it's easy to do when your only competition is 'you'. When I was 1st awarded for my poetry in 83', began oratorical speaking in 93', and professional public speaking in 96', the biggest lesson I have learned as a person with a story is that no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. If you want someone to love you for who you are, 1st have to actually be yourself. If you are afraid to be yourself, just remember that everyone else is already taken. If you continue to invest your time in messy, draining situations, it will consume you, and pull you into mediocrity. Let go of the negativity and embrace every positive aspect that awaits your journey through this life. Don't be afraid to take the steps that really count. Don't allow the voices of those who can't see you as God sees you to pierce joy from your soul. In my heart, everyone starts off beautiful until well, their soul shows me something different, then I will respond with what your soul offers, since it's obvious that you haven't learned to live from your soul yet. Here's to being exactly who your creator intends you to be, a complete, whole, inspired, hopeful, challenged, resilient, accomplished human. Here's to saying the things you must and quieting the voice you must - it is just a part of life. Happy Random Post on a Tuesday! Cheers & Love Resilience Crew (ResCrew) from Speak Res (Speak Resilience). You are loved.