When I first met Dick Gregory I was a seasoned teenager with a thirst for success. By this time, I’d already been choreographing, teaching in at least one after school program, doing speaking engagements through my teacher’s referrals, and launching my own community service projects. My life was also busy because I was at that time, living out on my own.


I remember seeing this picture years later and thinking of how mature I looked. I had already endured childhood sexual abuse. I had already been molested. I had already worked a full time job and was helping people because of my own pain. By the time of this photo, I had already experienced, witnessed, and endured domestic violence.


I had no idea the amount of opportunity I would have to fight for and all I would have to go through to walk into the fullness of who I am called to be.


If I hadn’t told you, you would never know because the strength I have had to carry wasn’t made for everyone.


We all have something we carry that carved purpose out for us.


Mr. Richard Claxton Gregory AKA Dick Gregory spoke to me that day for about 45 minutes and I felt like I could fly! I felt as though his wisdom was soo far beyond comedic virtue, although he was mostly known as a comedian and civil rights activist. The world needs more elders who are unafraid to speak the truth. Those who are candid within their own life experiences and intentional about celebrating what has truly worked and what wisdom has taught does not.


Those who are willing to guide the high levels of intellect that our societally superficial, frustrated, envious, messy, mentally unstable, and racially broken hearted narrative continues to prioritize above the healing that is required.


In 2023, we are unable, as a race of people, to knock on the wrong door. I am absolutely heartbroken for the family of Ralph Yarl and all the years of life he will never experience.


What makes this post my throwback is because Dick Gregory made us laugh while telling the truth. Whatever we need to do to get to the actual truth of this worldly pain has to happen. It just has to happen, because healing must no longer be put off and justification can no longer be wrapped around the stinch of ignorance. Change is good and it is simply past time, by several decades, to change.


I don’t know who has knocked on your door recently, or rang your doorbell, but I hope you don’t kill them because of the color of their skin. I pray that all of you reading this post see the value and weight of the world in that statement.


Sincerely,
A Black Mother having to raise her Black sons in a world where this topic is a realistic possibility of lifestyle awareness. The trauma of many things in this life can keep us from peace.


Everyday I fight for peace in a world where some people who look like me would rather not see me succeed above their perception of success and some people who don’t look like me would rather shoot me on sight, with their false narrative, racial bias, or gender exclusion. Navigate through those challenges during your morning breakfast.


Really and truly, what are you fighting for?


#ChildAbusePreventionMonth #dickgregory #RalphYarl
#winning #throwbackthursday #the90s #mother #businesswoman #poet #model #singer #actor #choreographer #author #gnfcc #risingstaraward #traumasurvivor #speakresilience #caibusinessgroup #toseimaj #peace #purpose #prosperity​

AnotherDay
By Toseima J

AnotherDay on this earth means more purpose.
Another opportunity to let my light shine because God says, I’m worth it.
Another opportunity to forgive those who have wronged me, as I forgive myself.
Another chance to send that proposal because in my hands, there is wealth. Another moment of awe and wonder.
Another dawn and dusk of splendor to embrace life’s unintentional blunders.
Another decision to be rid of stress and strife.
Another step by step journey maintaining self love in this life.
Another time to choose positivity.
Another point of circumstantial relativity
Another opportunity to take steps in the direction of what God has for me.
Still leaning into, standing in the need of prayer for where God wants me to be.

Thanking God for whatever His reason is or logic gives for blowing the breath of life my way.
He hears every emotion my soul has to say separating me from dismay
Feeling honored to listen as God reveals Himself in layers unknown
Accepting how much I’ve grown.
Feeling humbled to receive even what I previously have not.
Feeling focused on giving this life everything I’ve got.

My worthiness is found in God’s master plan for the earth.
My face shines upon my Lord as innate, untainted, imperfectly perfect worth as his face shines upon me.
I’m honored to see my reflection of beauty in His eyes and not need to ask where my peace can be found.
I’m wound up with joy and enthralled in the treat that whomever God sends is specifically whom purpose has aligned us to meet.
He relieves the pain and removes the shame.
He rejuvenated my soul as it runs over in the cups of transparency placed at my feet.
I dance to the beat of drums in my soul.
Tribally and authentically embracing the release of strongholds.
Singing the songs God place in my heart.
Designed to tear spiritual weights in two
Apart from the pain of all un-embraced love and resentment.
Choosing instead to embrace honor and contentment.
A bloodline rooted in strength and resilience.
I kneel before my Lord in adoration, humility, and recompense.
Regardless to who values me, believes in me, invests in me, receives me, embraces me, honors me, respects me, forgives me, or neglects me and who doesn’t - my God alone, stands alone. He carries me onward and upward.

AnotherDay to praise, worship, and to see that even on my worst day, God reminds me of His advocacy for me.
AnotherDay He draws me near in spirit and in truth, awakening every dormant hurt designed to keep me aloof.
No longer estranged from the pain of my truth.
AnotherDay to yield prayers to those who hide behind masks and smokescreens as their life long tribute.
Those who are ill, grieving, and questioning their merit through the applause of others while hurt.
Those who refuse to love and treat everyone as authentically, sisters and brothers.
Those who relentlessly seek torture for their pain and bewildered happenstance
No longer in a trance of ‘are we there yet’
AnotherDay The Lord is my compass, gps, and best navigational tool.
Leading through a pool of reminders and rules that I can’t just live my life the way other people do.
AnotherDay of being set apart on purpose and in purpose can leave the soul in a ‘hurry up and wait’ limbo.
In the wrong hands feeling unworthy and worthless wondering where did the healed version of me go?
There’s no accountability for anyone to take
It’s AnotherDay to prioritize God above anyone’s else’s room for victimization.
It’s time to make room for higher level conversations.
AnotherDay to launch into the CAI call.
To edify, uplift and inspire us all.
My Lord even through my trauma and pain, has placed me on solid ground.
He alone clears the path for me of no longer lost, but forever found.

AnotherDay for God to be the source of all things. A provider. A redeemer. My King of all Kings.
AnotherDay for God to be a restorer. A healer, and faithful truth revealer.
AnotherDay for God to be trust-worthy. Never leaving, abandoning, nor forsaking me because to him, I’m not dirty.

In Him is my refuge and my safety.
My comforter, my friend, my confidante, my guide, my joy, my peace, my strength, til the end.
He is more than my Lord and above all these things, He is my friend.

AnotherDay my resilience all comes from my gracious, loving father who cannot and will not fail me.
Running together like these two words. Taking hold of my rights as well as my wrongs.
AnotherDay to remember what got me this far and embrace that it was all meant to be.
AnotherDay that as I get closer to Him, I get closer to the me I have been called to be.

❤️🙏🏽💯💪🏽

#peace #progress #prosperity #chooseyourself1st#lessonsinlove #selflove #toseimaj #toseimajtv #speakresilience #caipromo #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caiswag #mylaneislit #stayinginmylane #peaceisthenewswag #healedisthenewsexy #assumptionskillthemind #transparencyopensthemind #communicationiskey #instagram #instadaily #i

I was asked my opinion on this video so here goes. Disclaimer - Anything I speak about encompasses consideration of yin and Yang. No situation is one way, EVER! We are at times, deceived by the belief that the way something appears is the only version of the truth. Misconceptions come in many forms but what we perceive will always be our version of the situation. This is why those of us who don’t know everything, continue to learn and grow. It is also why those of us who share our growth, tend to help others grow whether they have the courage to be vulnerable or not. That part.

I see this video and I think to myself how beautiful the 6 month expression is, of their love for each other. I recall the beginning of getting to know someone new, usually being sweet, filled with attentiveness, thoughtfulness, and consideration. We know all too well how that vibe can lose luster. So my prayer for them is that when the trials come, whatever they are, this same 6 month time stamp will remind them of the love they share.

For me, it’s not ‘puppy love’, ‘young love’, or judged love. For me, I don’t know enough about this couple to call it anything. For me, it is what these two feel about each other, that is their good part and that they were gracious enough to allow others to peek into ID their choice. It is how they have chosen to express their love and everyone is different.

For me, it is their love that is their business but someone is watching their love and being inspired by it. Someone needs to see that love is possible.

I mention this often that because people are communicating more by hiding behind computer screens, cell phones, and not actually having conversations; our view of the world is based on presentations of truth.

The unfortunate part is that not everyone is happy for them. Not everyone sees their light and wishes them well. Not everyone is speaking love over their relationship because naysayers come in may forms. We often look at things in one dimension but we are not one dimensional people and neither is love.

God’s promises are the most truth they will ever know in this life so I pray that as beautiful as that ring is, God’s promises will be held much closer. I know there is much scrutiny these days on social media with people who have no clue about who they are, what they feel, and what is really important in life. As the world turns though, I hope for us all the beauty of fresh revelation, the courage to lean into that truth, and grace for those who don’t share our life experiences or journey through love.

I notice that it’s great to see this experience I hope an elder is sharing the lessons with them on the other side of them sharing this video and that they are wise enough to heed the advice given. They don’t have to care what people think but when you share anything, they will need to hold each other’s respect, love, and vulnerability close in order to keep it, because envy and jealousy is a thing that comes for everyone at some point in life.

I encourage those watching and waiting for love not to compare yourself. Be careful getting all wrapped up in someone else’s fairytale. We all have our own lives to live. I wish them well. I wish them more and more of whatever God’s plan is for them because there is a plan for us all.

I wish them joy and peace as much inside of each other’s arms as outside. I wish them the courage to talk about the things that set their soul on fire and the willingness to go after it. I wish them the discipline to seek Gods face so that if purpose does not find them together, they can withstand the journey.

I wish them the purpose of togetherness and the resilience to allow their love to be more valuable to them than any challenge they face.
I wish for them the thing we all desire in love - known and unknown - true, authentic, unmasked, balanced, resilient love.

#Checkoutmylastblog #checkoutspeakresilience #speakresilience #toseimaj #toseimajtv #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caipromo

I have been discussing tough topics for over 10 years with the Speak Resilience blog and more recently podcast and tv show platform while navigating through my own pain, trauma, and life lessons. As I learn and apply, I share and help someone else. If more people did that, we could see love in action.

Lately, I’ve been posting ‘transparency moments’ which involves me with no make-up / filter, fresh from a workout, being vulnerable about topics I have personally had to navigate through or those that have inspired me.

People who know me know I love fashion and a good outfit I create makes me feel beautiful - which I’ve been doing ever since I had the power to dress myself, with the superlatives from high school, college, modeling, etc. ‘best dressed’ this and that - it’s a thing.

Even still, these transparency moments have taught me what beauty ACTUALLY looks like, feels like, and the impact on the soul. Anyway, I find that if people cannot control you, if they can’t navigate your life, your actions, and your words - every thing you do is in question.

Based on who’s standard do you live your life? Your own or the one the world tells you is acceptable? I know because out of my own pain, I attempted to control others as well and I lived underneath the words people spoke over me instead of the words I speak myself - based on the words God gives me. That is one reason the platform was born.

We all pretend there is no elephant in the room, then become upset when someone speaks up. I don’t know about you but I am thankful that God healed me from some things and is still healing me from some things.

The conversations I have been having about Twitch since his death have prompted moments when it matters to simply SPEAK UP! I thought about two people that were close to me, commit suicide and how it affected me at that time. Moments navigating through my own trauma has forced me to speak up.

If more people speak up, less people would be suicidal, navigating mental health with unhealthy practices, and less people would be ignorant about it. Less people would be blaming folks for mental health and treating it more like Cancer of the mind. Helping them develop a manual that works for them instead of rejecting and deserting them.

If more people were having the conversations connected to healed understanding, instead of allowing your personal mental health to be impacted by someone else’s trauma, you would recognize it and not make their challenges about you.

Here’s my point: everyone responds to pain differently so if someone is acting out, we often just disassociate instead of asking the question, why? Nobody cares why? though right, that is the problem. Then the people end up dead, on drugs, alcoholics, suicidal, and a number of other challenges associated with unhealthy practices - THEN we want to speak about them but the signs are clear, if we care enough to pay attention.

I would challenge that the person behaving waywardly doesn’t care because very few have challenged them for their motivation. Very few paid attention during the early signs so after a while that ‘nobody cares anyway’ behavior shows up. The person observing the wayward behavior simply enters the ‘room of smh’, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and offers their judgment instead of their help, prayers, honest feedback, or options for healthy help.

More people would know how to effectively love and support people who navigate mental health.

Lots of people want to help but don’t know how. Lots of people feel helpless in allowing someone to navigate the journey themselves and many people misunderstand what support looks like.

More people would be loved. More people would be getting the help they need. More people would learn to make themselves their safe space so they can be safe for those around them.

Sincerely, Toseima J - Known as Speak Resilience.

More. More. More. Good

#nomakeup #transparencymoment #chooseyourself1st#lessonsinlove #selflove #toseimaj #toseimajtv #speakresilience #caipromo #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caiswag #mylaneislit #stayinginmylane #peaceisthenewswag #healedisthenewsexy #assumptionskillthemind #transparencyopensthemind #communicationiskey #instagram #instadaily #i #twitch #suicide #mentalhealth #choppedleg #silentpain

Avatar One

Avatar Freestyle vibes….

I have poetry in my soul sometimes … this is what came out when I looked at this photo - Enjoy.

Not as cold in December
As it once was in my eyes
Where I could only see
Layers of everyone else’s demise
For me
Those tears I cried are crystallized for earrings bedazzling my best kept secrets
Un quilted in pieces of my yet unfound strength
Laid bare for what my heart could not at one time behold
Trickling through and grabbing out the remnants of my dormant soul
Cradling the wayward memories of broken-hearted words spoken over me
Misguided minds entrusted To guide the lack of ambition Awaiting the back seat
I didn’t know I was taking
In a bed I didn’t know I was making
All except grace found me broken, bellowing over, grieved low life sustaining chemical reactions in organisms
Battling euphemism for everything I thought was the truth resends thoughts
Suffering underneath the pain of everyone around me
Too busy suffering for them to know if they were unknowingly suffering for me
Waiting for someone who knew what love was
To find the best parts of me To love me past the worst.
The only hope one can offer such reality is the power
The will
And the fruit of change.
If change is enough for God, It is enough for whomever The mantel is chosen for
To walk alongside the healed layers of my footsteps
Reminders of the one whose footsteps are truly in the sand as I was carried
In moments when I carried
Angled in the masterpiece of prophecies foretold
Transcending the footstools of my enemies
In revelation of
The peace that transcends all understanding which cannot be bought
It must be held tightly in the inner depths of souls having travailed and won.
Celebrating the progress made only for those who take action geared towards the very peace the trevail acknowledges
How high up must I reach past GOD to find true forgiveness in the judgment of man?
Thankfully, any reach past GOD is unnecessary
I instead find prosperity where I find divine creation
The word of the Lord
Cracking open my soul in worship
Breathing hope into my thoughts with adoration and clarity
Finally my dreams find wholeness and my journey finds awareness to restore my own reality
For giant leaps forward
Leaving behind all who are content to leave me and themselves un growing, un inspiring, and un yielding to the season of best. It’s not that hard, some of us just know nothing but the cycles woven into the fabric of our least desirable attributes. To know thyself we must love thyself. To know others, we must also know thyself.
Then true love, the real kind that stands the tests of time can find you, patiently waiting for every layer you are brave enough to transparently offer it. I see you Toseima, all of you, and I’m here for it and for you.

#peace #progress #prosperity #lessonsinlove #selflove #toseimaj #toseimajtv #speakresilience #caipromo #caibusinessgroup #caiconsulting #caiswag #mylaneislit #stayinginmylane #peaceisthenewswag #healedisthenewsexy #assumptionskillthemind #transparencyopensthemind #communicationiskey #instagram #instadaily #i

Would you rather listen to art instead of read? Just click the Episode Image to check out my podcast - there is always some poetic banter to keep you talking  -  https://anchor.fm/speakresilience
Otherwise - Welcome, scroll down and enjoy!

Part 1
As the end of the year approaches: I wanted to share a little ‘New Year Motivation’ by sharing what my thoughts are about 2020, how it has affected me, and some motivation for going into 2021 because we are all better for what we rise through, together.  This is a 3 part series. Here is part 1 - How has the pandemic affected me begins with this haiku for Who takes the blame for the hellery of 2020 

Twenty Twenty One
I can’t wake up fast enough
Twenty Twenty done


Who takes the blame for the hellery of 2020?
The Pandemic
The 45th President
The Politicians
The Family Members
The Property Owners & Landlords
The Abusers & The Shooters
The Racists & Those Who Pretend in Plain Sight
The Non-Mask Wearers
The People Who Never Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Those Who Refused to Help Those in Need

Ok, so already, that list makes me feel some kinda way however, I have watched memes, posts, and read articles of a fair share of blame being welded to and from every direction, from every type of person, within every type of background.  
Yes, there are many people and entities I could blame if I were truly the ‘blaming’ type.
Blame, however, only removes the opportunity for me to hold the only part of accountability that is mine, which is basically whatever is within my control.  This year, I have experienced my own share of loss, debt, and unbelievable shock in an attempt to wrap my brain around multiple traumatic experiences happening at once like deaths, illnesses, projectile racism, experiencing separation from family and friends, and of course heartache in how to financially provide for those who count on me. Nearly losing my mind a few times, I have also had to make difficult decisions about how to survive and there were many times that my thoughts of what ‘should’ be and how things ‘should’ go were thoughts of least resolve.  The fact is, people want to see you pull yourself up by the bootstraps and I have always been able to do that without a heavy, awkward, emotional post requesting go fund me help and needing to constantly ask someone to bail me out of poverty.  I have always wanted to simply do the things I know I can do well, be thankful that it adds enough value to the world that someone will hire me to do it, and celebrate having barely enough to feed my children.  With that being said, I have chosen to journey with myself and through my own heart for what makes sense to believe, to own, and to ultimately blame.  The truth is, there is no one to blame.  Our collective choices as a nation have landed us in the ‘sweet spot’ of hell and only the citizens who care enough about the current status and future of the USA will take initiative in those areas.  As much as I would like to take care of every person with every need, in every part of the world, taking care of home is not a bad concept for Americans to collectively adopt.  Speaking of getting my own house in order, I have decided to own my share of poor choices and that is pretty easy to do when the only person in the mirror to stare back at me, is me.  I took the opportunity to self inventory which I believe is a necessary reality of moving forward.  I sat with myself and pondered, realizing that if I had only invested a little more than I spent. If only I had thought of healthy boundaries when people I love have needed my help.  If only I had decided that this relationship or that friendship wasn’t necessary to form, life would have turned out much differently. In the moment when my needs were most pressing, I would have heard the sound of my own bank card, entering the ATM to meet my own emergencies.  Every single decision that was made, however minuscule, was a connective aspect of the journey which leads to this moment.  The lessons of how to properly manage money, how to find comfort with boundaries in my need to care for those around me, and the allowance of connecting with people who truly can see the reciprocated value in contributing to the world.  Nothing is hard to accept if we acknowledge that the world has been, is, and will always go around with varied opinions, perspectives, levels of prosperity, and angles of persuasion as forms of influence, action, and the endurance of life challenges and rewards.  Everyone has something to walk through but I hope you walk into 2021 recognizing the facts you needed to learn this year and the things that make sense to believe.  

Be sure to check out other episodes because there’s always something to make you think and smile. Don’t forget to follow/ like / tweet / subscribe / and support.  Leave a message.  Check out my website at speakresilience.com.  As always, it’s been real – Thank you in advance to all my contributors who have helped to make this podcast possible.  
A special thanks to Jimbo for the beautiful intro and outro to the podcast.  Check him out on sound cloud and all major social media platforms.

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